Too much to say. Overwhelmed at the amazing love that everyone gave. Yes, I am (crying) and will continue to do so.

Amazed at the amazing friend who like a train conductor kept going until we got there. And even then he still didn't sit down. He has in his own way finished the last leg of my treatment. After the cancer was removed from my body, after they pumped me full of poison, he pulled me out of it all and said in that matter of fact slighlty sarcastic growl, wake up.

And now, I'm here.

In the lovely words of another friend, we built ourselves a barn.

My train conductor, my friend, I wrote him a letter a little while ago. I don't mean to violate the sanctity and intimacy of our relationship but I am struggling to try and see him without getting completely emotional, so I'll start here, with this:

Strangely when I woke up I ended meeting your second self. And it became like the story of the man who fell down the ten foot hole who called out to all the people walking by - the priest, the doctor, the policeman, the girl who works at Jewel - and found eventually his friend and called out to him and his friend strangely and crazily jumped into the hole with him. The man screamed at his friend why did you jump into the hole?? Now we're both fucking stuck in here. And the friend, laughing, said, "It's ok. I've been down here before. I know the way out."

The addendum to the story is that both friends have to take very dangerous avenues and continuously fall into holes. The other one eventually comes along and jumps in and (we) begin again.

I am Jack's happy metaphor. I am Jack's hospital visit.

I am Jack's lifelong friend.