Monday, February 07, 2005

It seems a sad day today. I'm not sure if it's the weather or maybe I am just tired. I am tired of the chemo and its complications. Now they tell me there may be something wrong with my heart. I am considering quitting the treatment, partly because it is wearing on me mentally and mostly because the physical side effects are starting to compound. My skin is breaking out in lesions and me teeth are start to, well, rot away. The chemo wears down the immune system so other ailments can surface without obstacles. I have finished three months and have three months to go. I think I will talk to my doctors and see if they can stifle the side effects. If they can't be stifled, if the side effects overtake the benefits of the treatment then they will have to stop it, according to the doctors. Which I can't say doesn't make me happy. If that does occur then I will seek alternative therapy. I'm going to talk to someone this evening about learning more about holistic treatments. As of now I'm in good shape as far as the tumor returning. They caught all of it, as big as it was and are putting my chances of survival at 80%. The chemo elevates that percentage to 87%. So strange to look at life in parts of a hundred.


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