Friday, December 23, 2005

I am not a holiday person. Never have been. My reasons are historically personal. I don't understand the merits and importance of "holiday" but then again it is not my holiday and I celebrate it with the people who claim it as theirs. I have many people that I love, many friends, for whom the holidays are a heavy time because of circumstance or absence. To them I want to say I love you and I will send my soul in proxy to be by your side as you sit down to eat. Should you pray, I will pray beside you. And as you miss, I too will miss.

Much love,

A lot of my day was spent at the doctor's office, hospital and on the road and I was generally feeling very ill. But there was a brief respite in the afternoon where I sat back and relaxed and ignored the sickness. I took this picture with my sister's phone during that moment.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

New art in progress

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Richard Pryor died. I can't tell you how incredibly sad I am. My dad, early on, made sure I was schooled on all things Richard Pryor. One of my favorite memories is watching Bustin Loose with him and laughing. A rare moment in our house.

You will be missed but not forgotten.

Much love.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Sometimes I forget. Does that make sense?

Sometimes I just forget. There must be something to remind me. An internal tattoo of sorts. Something imprinted inside me so I won't forget. So I won't fuck up, eat a candy bar, scream when I am angry, spend money when there is none. After all these years I physically would be covered in them, head to toe, a lot like Memento except without the post irony cynicism.

A missionary came to Gabs' school and told the children that she was working in the middle east, bringing Christianity to the people there and providing aid. So Gabs raises her hand and says, "Well, that is nice but why can't they keep their own religion? Why can't you help them without changing their religion?" The lady responded by saying she wanted them to be in heaven with her. I laughed when Gabrielle told me the story and she was a little hurt but I explained to her that I laughed because she is so wise and it catches me off guard because she is so young.

It occurs to me that I am tattooing her and have been for years now as I am with Atticus and they are with me. And I don't mean that in the Rolling Stones way.

And I am hardly taking credit for the things she does.

It has been almost a year Atticus was born. Crazy, isn't it? It has been almost six years since I first met Gabrielle. I remember the times before I met them. With Atticus I was prepared, I was expecting it. With Gabrielle I didn't know I was going to fall in love with her mother. I didn't that I was going to be part of her world and she mine. I remember the days before recognition, before birth, before speech, when I was sitting in the cold doing foolish things.