Thursday, January 20, 2005

I'm downloading one of my favorite songs of all time, hopefully it will be here before five and I can listen to it. Lisa Slodki put it on a mix tape for me years ago. It was my birthday mix and the three successive songs I always remember are, in order, u-ziq - hasty boom alert, james - lullaby and love & rockets - everybody wants to go to heaven. The last on is the one I am downloading.

I was talking with Sissy today about life and love and within the bubble of our conversation I talked about two people taking each other down different journeys - each one taking the other - down an external journey and down an internal one. Obviously it's never that cut and paste but the looking back on a lifetime aspect of it, the two personalities pushing and pulling, is nice. There are points in a relationship, romantic or not, points on a contour map not a linear one, where you go head to head with each other and in depending on how you deal with it, the situation, the conflict, the accumulation of what is never said, that can lead you down different maps, different contours. You may stick together and bond more or you may break, even drift apart slowly. I don't mean to sound so...negative. I don't mean it like that at all. I mean, looking back, the contours outline themselves against your memory and you begin to see risings and fallings like frozen breaths. It's nice. It's retrospective, introspective and melancholic and joyful all at once.

Gabrielle and Irene and I all watched Wimbledon last night. The movie not the event. And at one point Gabs gets up and goes to my desk and spends the rest of the evening drawing. Which struck me because she rarely gets up from watching TV but the pull of it got her and she drew and drew and I smiled and smiled.


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